My Cute Folks!
Civil War Cannon at Pea Ridge.
Me and my Hero
Arkansas is amazing in the fall! It's a blast of color!
Toad Suck, AR really does exist! We found it!
Had to get the full experience!…And so begins a new chapter in my life. It may not be as I would like it, but it’s what I have to do. I’ve been trying to figure out what in the world to do with myself since for the last sixteen years I’ve been on “mom duty”, running here and there, getting this and that, trying to keep up. Now? Nothing. I don’t HAVE to do anything except go to work and come home. The problem with not having to do something (anything) is driving me crazy.
I’ve thought about writing a romance novel, or taking a yoga class, or painting my bedroom…but what I have done is made flower beds in front of the house with my Hero. We bought some of those decorative concrete border blocks from Lowe’s. What a sport that was! Both of us are perfectionists and so we both took turns standing back looking to see if each row was nice and even and level…it took about eight hours! My poor bottom and knees hurt from being worked (and I might add here that I don’t work out. I sit on my toosh in an office all day and when I come home I sit it on the couch until it’s time for bed!). Even though the next day, my body complained with every move, it felt good to do something that had a pretty reward. I’ve been trying to decide which plants will best suit each side of the house and I’m happy that I have two good months to dedicate to it.
Together, my Hero and I have also decided to change the way we eat. We lost our appetites over the summer anyway, so we decided to continue to reduce our calorie and fat intake. So far my Hero has lost 10 lbs! Me? As a rule, I don’t weigh myself. If I’ve lost any weight at all, I will not know until my clothes don’t fit anymore. So far they still fit great (dang!). This evening after work, we went for a walk instead of sitting on my rump in front of the TV. I’m hoping that we can continue on this streak of doing things that are good for us and make us happy.
My Princess called me yesterday to tell me that she was asked to a homecoming dance at her new school. I’m excited that she gets to experience the
My summer was turned upside down when My Princess called me from her dad’s house in
The day that she was supposed to fly home, she didn’t. Her dad didn’t even take her to the airport. He told me that he could not physically put her on the plane and he wouldn’t make her.
It turned into a legal battle.
The police department there would not enforce the law that protects custodial parents from the other parent keeping their kids, all because she is sixteen. I guess
In the end, my attorney and I put together an agreement for a year. The first day of school came and she wasn’t here… I’m still in shock. I’m just so hurt.
In a matter of two months my life has changed drastically and I know that it’s not going to be the way it was ever again.
I miss you.
I hate how quiet the house is without you in it. It’s missing the music that pours from your soul. The laughter and joy are gone, in its place darkness and doubt, shock and hurt. It’s just too quiet.
There’s no song left in me. I can’t sing. I can’t eat. I can’t think.
I’ve lost my purpose. I’m lost completely. Plans have changed and I loathe change. I fear it.
I feel like such a failure.
Why is beyond anything that I can comprehend. Manipulation?
God is so Great! I’m truly is awe of His magnificence. I’m learning faith as I go through the sadness, knowing that all things are possible through Him. He is paving the way, whatever the outcome and teaching me as we go. His blessings have not gone unnoticed and I’m so very grateful.
I’m just pooped out.
I’m exhausted from trying my hardest and never being able to attain the “good enough” status.
The expectation is set incredibly high.
I do…and buy…and sacrifice…and do more…only to be disappointed at the end of the day. It’s impossible to give everything I’m made of without losing all that I’ve put blood, sweat, and tears into and sacrificed so much for.
I just tired of it.
Knowing the regret will be inevitable makes risking the resentment a small price to pay.
I signed up for this. This is what I chose.
I never thought about the trials or heartaches, I just jumped in. It was my responsibility and for responsibility sake I’m willing to meet up at the flag pole.
You are worth it to me.
Sixteen years and 9 months ago, I was seventeen years old and a brand new senior at
In October my mother begged me to go to the doctor… I couldn’t, for the life of me, think of why she wanted me to go. She made an appointment, telling me that she thought that I was pregnant. I denied it. Matter of fact, I felt great! I didn’t even consider the idea.
Well, the doctor confirmed it. I was pregnant.
Graduation became a priority.
As the semester wore on, my body started changing. Thank goodness that big shirts and stretch pants were in style, because hiding it those first few months would have been interesting. I was exhausted and getting up and ready for school was challenging, even more difficult after I was married in December.
Because of being pregnant, married and commuting from
At Bingham’s Young Mothers Program, I met other girls who were expecting and some who already had their babies. I met girls who were married, and some that were not. Some girls were keeping their babies and some were facing adoption.
I learned from them and their experiences, listened to what they went through during delivery and how hard their pregnancies had been for them. I am grateful to them.
I marched with my class in June, nine months pregnant. Two weeks later, I delivered the most beautiful girl I’ve ever met.
I’m not able to have any more children, so she is my miracle. It just happened at a weird time in my life! I was lucky to have an easy pregnancy, and an even easier labor and delivery, but I’m so blessed to have this wonderful daughter!
Happy Sweet Sixteen, my Princess!
