Mourning

My summer was turned upside down when My Princess called me from her dad’s house in Utah to tell me that she plans on staying there to finish high school. I did not agree to her plan. I felt horrible. Summer was ruined, because my daughter is my whole life! She is my only focus, the reason why I do anything…

The day that she was supposed to fly home, she didn’t. Her dad didn’t even take her to the airport. He told me that he could not physically put her on the plane and he wouldn’t make her.

It turned into a legal battle.

The police department there would not enforce the law that protects custodial parents from the other parent keeping their kids, all because she is sixteen. I guess Utah law enforcement officers think that sixteen is the new eighteen!

In the end, my attorney and I put together an agreement for a year. The first day of school came and she wasn’t here… I’m still in shock. I’m just so hurt.

In a matter of two months my life has changed drastically and I know that it’s not going to be the way it was ever again.

I don't even know what to name this, so I didn't.

I miss you.

I hate how quiet the house is without you in it. It’s missing the music that pours from your soul. The laughter and joy are gone, in its place darkness and doubt, shock and hurt. It’s just too quiet.

There’s no song left in me. I can’t sing. I can’t eat. I can’t think.

I’ve lost my purpose. I’m lost completely. Plans have changed and I loathe change. I fear it.

I feel like such a failure.

Why is beyond anything that I can comprehend. Manipulation?

God is so Great! I’m truly is awe of His magnificence. I’m learning faith as I go through the sadness, knowing that all things are possible through Him. He is paving the way, whatever the outcome and teaching me as we go. His blessings have not gone unnoticed and I’m so very grateful.