Grocery Follies

It’s a Saturday thing at my house. Weekly grocery shopping! Most women don’t have their heroes doing the shopping with them and for myself, I’m truly blessed with a man who shares in the household responsibilities. I personally don’t enjoy to shop, unless it is for craft stuff. Groceries are not my favorite, but my hero makes it entertaining.

Wal-Mart Fun #1: Wal-Mart worker waved to us that her line was open and started walking toward the other side of the store. A lady in a red sweater weaving in and out of various lines saw the wave. She obviously was looking for a “quick for her” check out. In attempt for an interception she started speed walking with her heavily loaded down cart toward our waving checker...and….in hot pursuit my hero started to brisk walk along side her with our packed cart, occasionally looking over at her and back to the isle, again at her, and back to the isle. The faster she went, the faster he went. The race was on, it was neck and neck. She actually started running!! And so did he! It was interesting watching the other shoppers taking in this crazy contest between two people that had never even met. The lane before the waving checker’s lane was empty. My hero stopped there instead and let the lady go. Not dropping the competition, he egged our checker to go faster. He kept calling out to the red sweater lady that our checker was faster. Major attempts to ignore him, but each and every time that her curiosity overtook her, my hero waved, and told the checker to hurry. We were finished first and my hero had to walk by her and tell her that he won. Just saying…

Wal-Mart Fun #2: It never starts in the check out lane, it’s just worse there. He starts up conversation with them…usually the girls. We buy a lot of water, usually the big Sam’s Choice case. Unsuspecting check out girl thanks my hero for not making her pick it up and scan it, but rather keep it on the bottom rack of our cart. My hero asks, “What? Aren’t you strong enough?” Check out girl says, “Well, not that strong!” This is where the true fun gets started. Hero suggests that she is stronger than the man standing behind her in the next to our check out lane. She giggles, but doesn’t answer. He suggests that they compare. She turns beet red while giggling! Hero says, “Excuse me, Sir?” The blush deepens on embarrassed check out girl. “Sir” ignores him or doesn’t hear him, I can’t really tell. Check out girl is trying to find a “happy place”, because hero is loudly asking man behind her to compare muscle tone with her. Each check out girl then turns to me and asks in different ways “Do you bring him out often?” My answer is usually the same, “It’s never boring!” Seldom does the check out girl clue in that the person behind them knows my hero and is playing along with his outrageousness. He says it’s talent. They think he is creepy, I’m sure. I’m there for entertainment. It’s cheap and well, funny!