I'm numb....

There are three of us girls in my department at work. Each of us had a loved one who was either terminally ill or in a nursing home dealing with old age.

At the beginning of March as most of you know, I lost my hero, my Grandpa. I rushed to Utah to be with my family and speak at the funeral (as I promised him that I would). I cannot express how tough this trip was for me.

The week that I returned to Arkansas, my office mate and friend lost her Granny. She was incredibly close to her. They were joking with each other a few nights before and knowing that the end was near was difficult for my friend to bear. Last Thursday she was just heartbroken.

Just four days after my friend lost her Granny, on Monday, our beloved co-worker and friend to everyone, Marilyn, passed away from cancer. Marilyn was my boss’s best friend. We knew that she was sick and she accepted her fate better than all of us could. Even knowing that time was short, we still had a hard time accepting.

Then, at lunch time today, my boss’s mother, who is sick with cancer lost her fight too! The bittersweet comments, they’re out of their pain and no longer suffering, they are with other loved ones and with God now….still hurts.

I’m numb. Loss and hurt is all around me. Every time I turn around, I feel like I’m buying a sympathy card or sending flowers or consoling a devastated friend. I wonder if this is what a disaster feels like…